In the 1967 best seller The Naked Ape, zoologist Desmond Morris wrote with comforting authority that the evolutionary purpose of human sexuality is “to strengthen the pair-bond and maintain the family unity” (Wright 279). Lately, this concept has undoubtedly acquired some blemishes. The modern world we reside in today faces many challenges when it comes to monogamous marriages. The meaning and sacredness of marriage has notably shifted, in a short period of time. It went from holding a sacred meaning and sharing a life long bond with someone whom to reproduce and start a family with, to something where it is very rare to reach a 20th anniversary. But what are some of the changes in the modern world that make monogamous marriages so challenging? Should the evolutionary purpose and sacred meaning be preserved, or should the meaning of what is “natural” be shifted to move along with the ever changing times?
There are many obstacles that could be responsible for complicating a monogamous marriage. Contraceptive technology was not available during human evolution. Things such as condoms and birth control did not exist. If an adult couple slept together for a year or two and produced no baby, it was likely that one of them was not fertile. Thus, from the genetic point of view there was little to lose and much to gain by ending their partnership and finding a new mate. In today’s times, it would be likely that the same situation would cause an individual to commit infidelity and thus turning away from a monogamous marriage.
Another possible challenge to monogamy lies in the media – movies, billboards, and magazines. There was no photography in the long ago world that shaped the human male mind. At some deep level, that mind may respond to perfect images of pinups, fashion models, and movie stars as if they were viable mates- as opposed to dull, monogamous devotion. According to the research of evolutionary psychologist Douglas Kenrick, men who are shown pictures of Playboy models later describe themselves as less in love with their wives than do men shown other images; while women on the other hand don’t feel any different about their spouse then previous to being shown the images (Wright 286). Almost all pornography that relies on visual stimulation- images of anonymous people, spiritless flesh- is consumed by males (Wright 282). These images and thoughts that the media implants into one’s mind simply aren’t realistic. Movies portray certain relationships to always be perfect, which isn’t reality, and when couples experience a bump in their relationship they feel discouraged, which could also lead to infidelity. The reality is, the media is an obstacle in the challenge of maintaining a monogamous marriage. One might jump from person to person in search of this fantasy world portrayed by the media, which frankly doesn’t exist.
Perhaps the largest modern obstacle to lasting monogamy is economic equality (Wright 286). In the ancestral environment, gaining a second wife didn’t always mean leaving the first. Donald Symons, author of the 1979 classic The Evolution of Human Sexuality, explains this concept by asking the following questions- why leave her? Why not stay near offspring and keep giving some support? He believes that men are designed less for opportune desertion than for opportune polygyny, but when polygyny is illegal, that impulse will find another outlet, such as divorce. This raises the question of what would have permitted the thought of a second wife. Symons answered that question by stating that possessing more resources, power, or social status than the average Joe, would be a desirable trait for some men, thus leading to fall out of the monogamous marriage (Wright 286).
As you can see by the graphs below, these obstacles seem to be overcoming the idea of monogamous marriage. The top graph shows that marriage rates have drops significantly since 1950, while the bottom graph shows that divorce rates are continually climbing.
All of these obstacles are challenging in the preservation of monogamy, but what could be at stake if these obstacles lead to cessation of what is suppose to be a sacred lifelong commitment and the rates of marriage continuously decrease, while divorce rates increase? What would happened if our idea of what is “natural” shifted to keep up with the times? According to evolutionary psychologists, our everyday, ever shifting attitudes toward a mate or prospective mate- trust, suspicion, revulsion, warmth, iciness- are the handiwork of natural selection that remain with us today because in the past they led to behaviors that helped spread genes (Wright 280). In the case of polygyny, it’s less powerful men grab extra sexual resources (women), leaving less fortunate men without mates- or at least mates young enough to bear children. With this concept, comes rampant divorce which not only ends the marriages of some men, but prevents the marriage of others. Which then trickles down and may cause an end to the family values we presently know. It has been proven that the restlessness designed by natural selection to encourage polygyny can bring divorce, and this can inflict great emotional and even physical damage on their children (Howle and Rowe 53).
While many of these obstacles may be argued as temptations which are part of our human nature, the concept which comes with overcoming them is a far more important part of our existence (Houle and Rowe 67). A moral being is one who is capable of comparing his past and future actions or motives, and approving or disapproving of them and moral life as we know it consists largely of battling human nature. Monogamy is something that should be preserved and can be done by overcoming the many obstacles the modern world has faced up with. While in no way do I believe we should lock people into unhappy marriages, but surely we should not reward for leaving their spouse either. Marriage is a joint between one man and one woman (not multiple men and women) in a special kind of social and legal arrangement that serves many purposes for a society (Houle and Rowe 60). The cessation of it could lead to the end of a ‘family’ as we know it. Monogamous marriages should not only be preserved for issues like social order, reproduction reasons, gender roles and organization, but for the key component of human experience- love.
Work Cited
Anderson, Craig. Media and Risky Behaviors. The future of Children, Vol. 18, No. Children and Electronic Media. 2008. pp. 147-180.
Houle, David and Locke Rowe. Natural Selection in a Bottle. The American Naturalist, Vol. 161, No. 1. Jan, 2003. University of Chicago Press. Pp. 50-67.
Wright, Robert. Our Cheating Hearts. Academic Communities/Disciplinary Conventions. August 15, 1994. Prentice Hall. Pp. 278-291.
