Week 10 Blog Reviews

Susan Johnson:
Move Over Miley!: I thought you had a really strong introductory paragraph! You made some good points and I like the perspective you took on this topic. I completely agree with you that the music industry should be less focused on appearance and image, and more on actual talent! It was also smart of you to also relate this topic to the movie industry as well, because it's obvious this issue applies to actors as too. All the points you made were nicely tied together in your conclusion paragraph and I enjoyed reading your opinion on how things need to change. I do agree that it gets a bit fustrating hearing Miley or other "disney" stars repeatedly on the radio. You had really good organization for this blog, and it all flowed together really good.The only thing I would add is in the second paragraph I saw a couple run on sentences that were a bit long and made it a little hard to comprehend. Overall this was a really well written blog and I enjoyed reading it!

Free Upgrade: Let me just tell you that I have been SO frusrated myself with T-mobile, I've had no signal for 2 weeks, theyve sent me 3 replacement phones and now I don't get my incoming calls and every time I call I stay on the phone for an hour come to find out they won't give me a different model unless i pay 400 dollars! So I know how your frustration :) . Again, I enjoyed reading this blog. You did a good job on being descriptive and using good narration. I also noticed your use of adjective throughout the blog and it made it interesting to read!



Deirdre Cienki:
Music: All about the Money Maker : I liked your use of quotes from the book. They served as nice segways to the points that you made. You did a good job incorporating your opinion into this blog. "But if the music is “good” and the public accepts it, it won’t be going anywhere anytime soon," was a good way to sum up your opinion and go into the concluding paragraph. I do agree with you that in the end, it comes down to consumer demand.

Wany a fun day? Simply pay $4.75 via E-Z Pass. : I enoyed your title, it was really creative! However, you mispelled "want" as "wany", but I know little typos can sometimes be over looked, as you noticed in my blog! I thought you did a really good job overall. The organization and narration was very interesting. I thought it was smart of you to first provide a descriptive paragraph of the area for those who weren't familiar. The fact that you stated the end first, then went on the describe the event that caused it, added alot to your blog. You did a really good job!


Jess Tavizon:

Tennis Racket Mishap: It was clear after reading your blog that you have alot of passion for this sport! I enjoyed reading about how your love for tennis developed. You also had good narration and provided descriptive details, which added alot to your story! I enjoyed how first you told us about the great deal you got on the tennis racket, and yet it broke the moment you got frustrated! What did your parents say when you showed up with a broken racket!!?? :) Overall you did a really good job narrating your story!