Week 11 Blog Reviews

Susan Johnson:

Polish Prosperity:
I thought you did a good job in your first paragraph. I liked that you started off by discussing how many immigrants came to America in search of great opportunities. I also liked that you chose to write about Polish immigrants because of your own family came from Poland. I come from a hispanic origin, so I was unable to write about my own origin because of the intructions! You had a couple sentences that seemed to have ran on, maybe a couple commas could have fixed the problem. I did notice that you always seem to throw in creative phrases every now and then, for example, "...a piece of the great American pie", which always add a little extra to your writing! I really enjoyed reading about your great grandparents and their 11 children!

Buy Now! :
I liked how your title related to the first sentence of your blog. I found that statement, "Our modern world is driven by the desire to own or operate the most up-to-date technologies and possessions", to be very true and I agree with you! I also thought asking "...but is it really so bad?", was a good way to transition into your body paragraph. Also, you showed good organization by having a seperate paragraph to dicuss the good things about materialism, and another to discuss the bad. Your concluding statement summed up your blog nicely and overall it was very well written.



Deirdre Cienki:

Slovakia Calling :
I noticed that the first paragraph mostly consisted of facts about Slovakia, which could be good for anyone not familiar. Some of the information, though it was very informative, seemed to kind of just been thrown in. It was very interesting to read about their impact during World War II, and their family values, and also the American approach to their immigration. I would have liked to have read more about their impact on todays culture, but overall It was really interesting! I enjoyed reading and getting a little bit more familiar with the information you presented.

"Goods" for a reason:
I really liked the title and thought it went good with the content of your blog. I thought your first paragraph was really good! In the sentence, "While I know having all the newest electronics or the nicest car doesn’t make a person happy (or does it?), it’s okay to look and like… Isn’t it?", I thought it was kind of funny, and a good way to continue on with talking about if it is good or not. I also thought it was smart of you to include a paragraph on Twitchell's perspective on the issue, and then go on to talk about the down side of materialism versus the good. I thought you did a good job and it was very well written!

Jess Tavizon:
Armenians in America:
I thought you did an excellent job! I liked how you incorporated a little of your own background by talking about your parents and then went on to introduce how Armenians impacted America. You did a really good job in organizaing a summary with good background information, and you also cited everything correctly! I also thought it was cool how you said you didn't even know that the Republic of Armenia existed, yet you did a good job researching and explaining their impact on the country. I also loved how you threw in that System of a Down was also Armenian,( I didn't know that!), and how this country is only better by the talents of other ethnicities.

Thou Shall Not Covet:
Again, I thought your title was very creative! I like that you took a different approach that most of the blogs that I read, by beginning your blog with talking about taxes being places in the 1700's. Also, I thought you made a good point with using the example of being a pack rat! I probably am guilty of keeping things I KNOW i don't need. I loved your conclusion paragraph, especially the point you make when you say that although the material items may bring you pleasure now, when you leave this world you can't take them with you. Excellent point! I agree with you completely that materialism has its pros and cons and overall I think you did a good job! :)